Having just consumed 6 cans of Stella (Artois) lager beer, I am very disappointed not to be drunk. I am a little bit drunk, but still have the capacity for work and some vague sense of moral judgement.
Oh, I long for the days when, after drinking a bottle of vodka (alone and smoking clandestine cigarettes) one would be violently ill and sleep for a day.
Nowadays, I just sleep for twice as long, without the comfort of noodle-strewn vomit on the curtains.
Wasn't the past so much better than now.
My forebears, they had proper identities, land owners, agriculturalists, slave traders.
Nowadays, thanks to "political correctness", the only way a person can make a decent living from slavery is through sex. Jesus must be turning in his grave.
I made myself very proud today, updating my wireless internet driver, and thus solving the hideous connectivity problems with it - all due to illegal football streaming (if the BBC, who I pay a full quarter of the licence fee for, can't even broadcast radio commentary, with a jaded and depressed Irishman, of my football club in the Champions League quarter finals, they are explicitly inciting social degradation). Anyway, the streaming wasn't working, due to my awful connection, which up to now, I'd put up with, but now it's a festival of mbps. And I failed my IT GCSE (it wasn't my fault - everyone in my year failed, due to an unknown error).
But GCSEs, weren't they the best? You'd just turn up, write some words on some paper and get an A. If only one's value in real life was determined by a series of written exams. When did all this change? If personal worth was decided by answering abstract questions on pieces of paper, I'd be at least 17th.
Not as high as RBG iPlayer of course. I recommended RBG iPlayer to Richard Bacon of BBC Radio 5 Live, and I would love it, in a permed Newcastle accent, I would love it, actually, love it, if RBG iPlayer was voted the best thing in the world on Channel 4.
